If I could leave my children only one lasting gift, it wouldn’t be wealth, possessions, or even the advice I’m eager to impart.
Instead, I’d leave them a set of three foundational traits. I call them the Three C’s of Parenting, and they’re the best way I know to prepare my children for a life that is both impactful and good:
Curiosity
Confidence
Compassion
The Three C’s are not random but build upon one another. They shape how we see the world, ourselves, and the people around us.
And they’ve formed the arc of my own personal growth - from the mind, to the will, to the heart.
Curiosity
The drive to understand
Curiosity is the foundational trait. The instinct to ask why, to dig deeper, to learn is what leads to both perspective and competence.
Curiosity also carries an inherent humility. It begins with the recognition that you don’t know everything. That there is always more to learn. That every person, culture, and experience has something to teach you if you’re paying attention.
Curious children grow into thoughtful adults. They don’t settle for surface-level answers. They learn across disciplines, explore new ideas, and develop a well-rounded view of the world. And along the way, they start to discover what they’re good at.
Curiosity is what fuels competence. Competence, in turn, fuels confidence.
Confidence
The belief in yourself
Confidence is one of the most powerful traits a person can have. It gives you the ability to act, to take risks, to stand up for what matters. It provides the inner security required to live your life authentically. And, perhaps paradoxically, it sets the stage for compassion by allowing you to interact with others without the need for judgment or comparison.
Contrary to initial images that may come to mind, true confidence is not bravado. It’s grounded - built on competence and a deep self-knowledge of what you’re good at, what you value, what you’re capable of - and where you still need help.
It is not loud or self-promotional, but quiet - serving as an internal anchor in a tumultuous world.
Without confidence, we shrink from opportunities. We defer too quickly, try to please everyone, or let fear drive too many of our decisions.
But when we believe in ourselves, deeply and honestly, the entire equation changes:
We pursue what matters to us.
We take ownership of our lives.
We stay steady under pressure.
All because we have a strong foundation to bear the weights of life.
Still, confidence alone is not enough. Without compassion, the fruits of confidence are incomplete.
Compassion
The heart that guides it all
Compassion is the third and most important C. It is the trait that transforms curiosity into wisdom, and confidence into leadership.
Without compassion, a curious mind can become detached - more interested in observing people than understanding them. A confident spirit can become arrogant. But when compassion is present, it reorients both mind and will toward the good of others.
Compassion goes beyond simply understanding people - it means caring for them. Not just seeing what’s wrong in the world, but actually wanting to help. It creates connection, and kindness, and humility. It reminds us that at the end of the day, what matters most is not what we achieve, but how we treat people - the key to true contentment.
For me, this has been the hardest and most important shift. I’ve always had plenty of curiosity. Over time, I developed confidence through hard-won experience. But now, as I try to become the kind of parent, husband, and friend I want to be, I’ve realized how much growth still lies ahead - in learning to be gentle, in choosing to lead with empathy, in being present, in letting go of the need for perfection.
It has become clear to me that you can be successful in life with curiosity and confidence. But you cannot be happy without compassion.
How they fit together (and what’s missing if one is gone)
Curiosity, Confidence, and Compassion are all critical traits. But to live the life I want, and the life I want my children to have, they must be in harmony with each other.
Curiosity & Confidence without Compassion often lead to someone who is brilliant but cold - limiting genuine connection and lasting contentment. The smart jerk.
Curiosity & Compassion without Confidence produce someone thoughtful but hesitant to act - diminishing the impact they could otherwise have on the world. The kind but unrealized.
Confidence & Compassion without Curiosity create someone who is sincere but unquestioning - lacking the perspective needed to be most effective in their pursuits. The well-meaning but naive.
The goal is to be the balanced human. The one with head, hands, and heart aligned. The one who embodies Curiosity, Confidence, and Compassion - all in harmony.
In the end…
There are many things I hope my children become.
But if I can help instill curiosity, confidence, and compassion, I’ll be proud. Because with those three traits, I believe they’ll be equipped for almost anything: to learn, to lead, to love well - and to build a life that is both impactful and good.