Choose Your Fuel
The Hidden Costs of our Motivations
Anger. Envy. Greed.
As sources of fuel, these burn hot, but they don’t burn clean.
They are inefficient, emitting just as much smoke as heat - leaving behind a clear trail and, often, damaging others on the road with them.
These are so often the driving forces for those whose success we idolize - hot shot executives, billionaire investors, professional athletes, world leaders.
So we think this is the way to achieve our goals… until we realize the cost.
Then we have a choice to make. We have to choose our fuel.
Negative emotions are very effective at creating bursts of energy. It’s why heavy lifters often listen to rap or metal, rather than classical music. It’s why Michael Jordan told himself lies about his opponents before a game.
Anger is effective.
Alongside anger sit greed, envy, desire for power, and a whole host of negative emotions that fuel us.
Why are these so often the default?
Because they’re easy. And, for awhile, they work.
Being self-centered, ruthless, and relentless very well may increase your odds of material success. But that path depends on one hope: that someday, you'll finally arrive. And then you can let go of all the pressure and be happy.
The danger here is evident; your wellbeing becomes dependent on reaching a destination that’s often outside your control. And in the process, you gamble something far more precious: your happiness.
At this point, you may be thinking, “Yeah, duh. But I’m not like that!” Maybe so, but most of us still run on traces of these fuels - fear of failure, inferiority complexes, a seemingly unquenchable desire for more.
If this is so clearly NOT the way to live, then why is it so prevalent?
Because fueling yourself with positive emotion is much harder.
By that, I mean it takes practice.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much practice for us to be angry, envious, or greedy. At least not for me.
But what about the opposites?
To be calm, serene - even when others slight you
To be indifferent, if not cheerful of others’ success
To be generous, and stop clinging to your possessions
To show love, even when others don’t love you
This takes practice. This is hard.
And yet, this is the choice.
The way I see it, there are two main options here:
Option A: The Easy Fuel
You fuel yourself with pressure, fear, and ego. These burn hot, and they can get results fast. But they come at a cost.
You risk deprioritizing the things that you know matter (fitness, sleep, mental health, relationships) in hopes that you’ll achieve success and then finally feel free to focus on those things, to finally be happy.
If you choose Option A, there’s still a chance you get to the end destination. But the path will likely be harder than you expected, and you assume a dire risk in the process.
Many people never make it to the “goal”, or if they do, they arrive exhausted or unrecognizable - making the contentment they desire cruelly unattainable.
Option B: The Clean Fuel
You fuel yourself with things like presence, purpose, compassion. The energy is steadier and sustainable, but less flashy.
You work hard, but you also treat yourself right. You sleep well, eat well, exercise. You do things that make you happy. You spend more time than you think you can with friends and family.
You stop forfeiting today for an imaginary tomorrow.
It all comes down to a gamble: which are you more willing to risk - your material success, or your happiness?
Option A is so tempting because it promises both. It tells us that we can have it all. But I fear, for most, this is a siren song, luring us unknowingly to a dangerous place.
Option B doesn’t promise everything. But it offers something deeper: peace, now - not someday. It invites us to live a life fueled by purpose rather than fear.
We can’t always choose our circumstances.
But we can always choose our fuel.
And if happiness is what we’re after, the choice seems pretty clear.