Each time was scary and uncomfortable, but as I’ve waded through the first three years of entrepreneurship, I am now comfortable with the fact that the only thing that matters in a career is creating intrinsic value… In doing hard things and developing skillsets that are fundamentally worthwhile, regardless of when or how they are recognized... In playing to win, rather than obsessing over optionality or playing “not to lose.”

The reason this matters is because this is the way you build a career that is both personally rewarding and financially successful, which is the combination we all ultimately want.

Let me share a bit about how I came to this conclusion in my own journey, in hopes that it will provide some guiding points for yours.

An Unpredictable Path

Wall Street

The beginning of my unlikely career path began on Wall Street - leaving Alabama to go to a new city where I knew very few people and was largely on my own. How I got to New York merits an essay of its own, but it suffices to say that it took a lot of hard work, some luck, and was never part of my “master plan” growing up.

Fortunately, I was able to make it happen and got the dream job as a Wall Street analyst straight out of college. Coming from a very “non-target” school for high finance jobs in New York, I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder and worked hard. I started to do well, began developing a routine despite the crazy work hours, got positive feedback, good bonuses, and was content. I wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.

Birmingham Investment Fund

But, after two years, I got an opportunity to come back home that I couldn’t pass up. I left the New York job that I had worked so hard to get and took a pay cut in pursuit of more valuable experience.

I joined an investment fund in Birmingham where I got to be one of ten people managing over $15 billion in capital. I learned about fundamental business analysis and competitive advantages. I got to flex my generalist skillsets and explore my curiosities. I got to talk to public company CEOs and go to interesting tradeshows - all as a ~25 year old. I loved it - it was another dream job. I was starting to get comfortable and could see a long-term path with meaningful financial and personal upside.

And yet, to my surprise, I ended up leaving again after two years.

The Tech Startup

Once more, an unforeseen opportunity appeared that promised truly unique experience. It was with a local tech startup under a serial entrepreneur, and it offered me the chance to see what it was like to actually build a business.

I had an offer to join as a financial analyst, and I took it. But not without deliberation.

This was the most uncomfortable path I had taken by far. Once again, I took a pay cut and endured significant financial opportunity cost in earnings over the next several years as we built the business. The environment was also very foreign, and therefore a tad uncomfortable, at first. There was much less structure than in the investment world… I started with my desk being a couch and ended working in 7 different offices of various shapes and sizes. It was much more about just figuring things out rather than executing a known process (which I am more suited for). But it ended up being an amazing experience.

To my surprise, I ended up staying for four years. I became CFO halfway through, raised private equity funding, acquired multiple companies, grew significantly, and sold the company.

It had its ups and downs, to be clear. Building a company is not nearly as sexy or blissful as it may seem from the outside looking in. I learned some hard lessons.

But, I have zero regrets. Because this is where I really started to appreciate the importance of building intrinsic value.

The Final Fork in the Road: Security vs. Uncertainty

I knew we would sell the company one day. The final fork in the road, that I anguished about for years, is what I would do after.

At this point, I had built some really valuable experience and had a lot of options. I could become the CFO of another tech company. I could go into public equity investments, private equity, other operating roles, etc. And, truth be told, I was extremely tempted to do so. After selling the company, I got several high-paying opportunities along these lines.

But, despite how uncomfortable it felt, my gut told me to continue on the path of intrinsic value. I didn’t want fear or the desire for security to dictate my life choices.

I decided to start a company.

The Shift in Mindset

After deciding to start a company with my co-founder, Will, my relation to risk and career development really started to change.

This decision meant giving up real optionality… turning down high-paying jobs for no salary, no safety net, no easy off-ramp.

We ended taking $0 in income for over 18 months. And during that period is when my mindset really started to shift.

Because I was doing hard work. I was growing, I was learning about myself, I was developing new and valuable skillsets, I was building resilience.

It was so rewarding, yet I was receiving literally nothing for it. This didn’t bother me, though, because I know it was intrinsically valuable. It was so clear to me that the level of personal and professional growth that was happening would pay off somehow, some way. Maybe in financial terms, maybe not. Maybe soon, maybe later. But I felt convicted it was worthwhile.

The Magic of Compounding and the Secret to Entrepreneurship

I started to think about career building in terms value created vs. value realized.

Early in any new venture, whether in professional or personal life, those lines can be far apart. You’re investing enormous effort and getting relatively little back. Most people quit in that gap, or never enter it in the first place because they are too fearful of enduring the uncertainty.

But if you stay in the game, the gap eventually starts to close. Value compounds and starts to be realized quickly.

This is the secret of entrepreneurship, and of success in most of life’s endeavors: you have to stay in the game long enough to reap the rewards of your efforts.

The one unintuitive point, though, is that you have to ensure that the lines never actually converge… that you always do more than you are paid for.

Until the day I die, I want the value I’ve realized in the world to lag the value I’ve created. Because that means I’ve stayed on the path of growth the whole way through, and it also (hopefully) implies that I’ve added more to the world than I’ve taken.

The Payoff

My company, DevClarity, has started to find real success after three years.

We can pay ourselves and our employees competitive wages. I can now see a world where I make more money with this business than I have in any of my prior roles.

And yet I’ve largely stopped thinking about money.

Not because financial needs have disappeared. But because I have a deep confidence in the intrinsic value of what we’re building… in the fact that this is fundamentally worthwhile, even if it all goes to zero.

I feel a sense of confidence that doesn’t require external validation to sustain itself.

That is the essence of creating intrinsic value. And of a meaningful life.

Instead, I’d leave them a set of three foundational traits. I call them the Three C’s of Parenting, and they’re the best way I know to prepare my children for a life that is both impactful and good:

• Curiosity

• Confidence

• Compassion

The Three C’s are not random but build upon one another. They shape how we see the world, ourselves, and the people around us.

And they’ve formed the arc of my own personal growth - from the mind, to the will, to the heart.

Curiosity

The drive to understand

Curiosity is the foundational trait. The instinct to ask why, to dig deeper, to learn is what leads to both perspective and competence.

Curiosity also carries an inherent humility. It begins with the recognition that you don’t know everything. That there is always more to learn. That every person, culture, and experience has something to teach you if you’re paying attention.

Curious children grow into thoughtful adults. They don’t settle for surface-level answers. They learn across disciplines, explore new ideas, and develop a well-rounded view of the world. And along the way, they start to discover what they’re good at.

Curiosity is what fuels competence. Competence, in turn, fuels confidence.

Confidence

The belief in yourself

Confidence is one of the most powerful traits a person can have. It gives you the ability to act, to take risks, to stand up for what matters. It provides the inner security required to live your life authentically. And, perhaps paradoxically, it sets the stage for compassion by allowing you to interact with others without the need for judgment or comparison.

Contrary to initial images that may come to mind, true confidence is not bravado. It’s grounded - built on competence and a deep self-knowledge of what you’re good at, what you value, what you’re capable of - and where you still need help.

It is not loud or self-promotional, but quiet - serving as an internal anchor in a tumultuous world.

Without confidence, we shrink from opportunities. We defer too quickly, try to please everyone, or let fear drive too many of our decisions.

But when we believe in ourselves, deeply and honestly, the entire equation changes:

• We pursue what matters to us.

• We take ownership of our lives.

• We stay steady under pressure.

All because we have a strong foundation to bear the weights of life.

Still, confidence alone is not enough. Without compassion, the fruits of confidence are incomplete.

Compassion

The heart that guides it all

Compassion is the third and most important C. It is the trait that transforms curiosity into wisdom, and confidence into leadership.

Without compassion, a curious mind can become detached - more interested in observing people than understanding them. A confident spirit can become arrogant. But when compassion is present, it reorients both mind and will toward the good of others.

Compassion goes beyond simply understanding people - it means caring for them. Not just seeing what’s wrong in the world, but actually wanting to help. It creates connection, and kindness, and humility. It reminds us that at the end of the day, what matters most is not what we achieve, but how we treat people - the key to true contentment.

For me, this has been the hardest and most important shift. I’ve always had plenty of curiosity. Over time, I developed confidence through hard-won experience. But now, as I try to become the kind of parent, husband, and friend I want to be, I’ve realized how much growth still lies ahead - in learning to be gentle, in choosing to lead with empathy, in being present, in letting go of the need for perfection.

It has become clear to me that you can be successful in life with curiosity and confidence. But you cannot be happy without compassion.

How they fit together (and what’s missing if one is gone)

Curiosity, Confidence, and Compassion are all critical traits. But to live the life I want, and the life I want my children to have, they must be in harmony with each other.

Curiosity & Confidence without Compassion often lead to someone who is brilliant but cold - limiting genuine connection and lasting contentment. The smart jerk.

Curiosity & Compassion without Confidence produce someone thoughtful but hesitant to act - diminishing the impact they could otherwise have on the world. The kind but unrealized.

Confidence & Compassion without Curiosity create someone who is sincere but unquestioning - lacking the perspective needed to be most effective in their pursuits. The well-meaning but naive.

The goal is to be the balanced human. The one with head, hands, and heart aligned. The one who embodies Curiosity, Confidence, and Compassion - all in harmony.

In the end…

There are many things I hope my children become.

But if I can help instill curiosity, confidence, and compassion, I’ll be proud. Because with those three traits, I believe they’ll be equipped for almost anything: to learn, to lead, to love well - and to build a life that is both impactful and good.

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In The Practice of Groundedness, Brad Stulberg argues that sustainable success is built on six grounding practices - acceptance, presence, patience, vulnerability, community, and movement - so you can excel without burning out.

Drawing on psychology, elite-performance research, and his own coaching work, he shows why your “doing” must be aligned with your “being” if you want progress that lasts.

Who should read

• Leaders pursuing sustainable peak performance

• Ambitious professionals or athletes flirting with burnout

• Self-improvement readers craving grounded, values-aligned habits

• Anyone seeking stability in a chaotic season of life

Peter’s takeaways

Accept Where You Are to Get Where You Want to Go

• Don’t play not to lose. Play to win.

• Accepting reality and managing your expectations leads to happiness.

• Reactions are rushed. Wise action is deliberate. Try to pause before reacting.

• Acceptance is not passive; it is simply recognizing what is and is not within your control.

Be Present So You Can Own Your Attention and Energy

• Being relaxed, patient, and open is more conducive to peak performance than being anxious and tight.

• A mantra to help with acceptance: “This is my reality. I am doing the best I can.”

• Physical environment matters. Eliminate distractions.

Be Patient and You’ll Get There Faster

• Sometimes it’s better to let things happen instead of always trying to make things happen.

• The job of a parent is to create a safe space for their child to develop and unfold on their own.

• 3x5 breathing is a useful exercise to create some space in your life. Pause and count 5 of your breaths, 3x per day. Can be effective to pair with specific activities, like before checking your phone in the morning or before a meal.

Embrace Vulnerability to Develop Genuine Strength and Confidence

• People like to coast instead of giving something their all. Maybe the potential for being hurt isn’t as bad in this scenario, but neither are the joys. If you don’t give life your all, you’re missing out on the richness, fullness, and meaning.

• Vulnerability drives trust and community.

• Addressing fear leads to freedom and confidence.

Build Deep Community

• Community is a practice. And it is very important for us. We evolved to be in community.

• The most enduring friendships are based on virtue, rather than utility or pleasure.

• High performers raise those around them (see the Shalane Flanagan Effect).

Move Your Body to Ground Your Mind

• Mens sana en corpore sano - healthy body, healthy mind

• Pushing through discomfort in exercise makes life easier. It allows you to react to high pressure, heart-racing situations cooler and calmer than otherwise possible.

• The specific plan doesn’t matter so much as just sticking to one.

• For exercise, the most effective strategy is progressive overload. Stress, then rest.

• Movement should be considered an integral part of your job; not separate. It’s critical for high performance in any field, driving energy, cognition, creativity, etc.

• Regularly walking checks most of the boxes for our long-term health needs. Especially if outdoors, and even better if it’s in community with others.

From Principles to Action

• When you align your doing with your being, the tension of cognitive dissonance dissipates.

• Satisfaction is largely the byproduct of transitioning from a seeker to a practitioner.

• We are always practicing something. Make your practice worthwhile.

• Self-discipline and self-compassion are often pitted against each other. But high performers need both.

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“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard

You’ve done the hard thinking. You’ve found your North Star - the unique purpose that gives your life meaning. You’ve defined the values that guide your decisions and set the priorities that deserve your focus.

Now comes the most important part: what do you actually do each day?

This is the journey - where intention becomes action.

In this essay, we’ll explore how to align your daily actions with your purpose, values, and priorities through three powerful tools: initiatives, habits, and tasks.

The Three Types of Daily Actions

In my experience, every meaningful action we take falls into one of three categories:

1. Initiatives

These are high-impact projects - needle-movers - that are typically time-bound and goal-oriented. Examples might include training for a 5K, hitting your quarterly quota, or finding a new house for your family.

Initiatives often require significant focus and should be tied to a specific priority area. You don’t need many - in fact, you shouldn’t have more than 1–3 active at a time.

2. Habits

Habits are the small, recurring behaviors that compound over time. They don’t necessarily require a ton of energy, but they do require consistency.

Habits support your priorities quietly but powerfully. If “health” is a top priority, your habit might be 30 minutes of movement each morning. If “marriage” is a top priority, it might be a weekly date night.

3. Tasks

Tasks are the miscellaneous items - one-off actions, logistics, and admin. These might include replying to an email, scheduling an appointment, or paying a bill.

Tasks are necessary but not transformational. The goal is to manage them efficiently without letting them crowd out your higher priorities.

Aligning Daily Actions With Your Priorities

Every initiative and habit should connect directly to your top priorities. If something doesn’t align, ask yourself why it’s on your to-do list at all.

Some good questions to reflect on regularly:

• “What initiatives support my top priority right now?”

• “What habits ensure I show up for the people and goals that matter most?”

• “Where do tasks fit in, and how do I contain them?”

Alignment isn’t about good intentions. It’s about designing your days to reflect what you value most.

Otherwise, if left unmanaged, low-impact tasks will consume your daily schedule - and ultimately your life.

Tools, Systems, and Support Structures

So how do you actually make this work? Here’s the system I use, broken down simply.

🛠 The Setup: Tools and Approach

• Three types of daily actions: Initiatives, Habits, Tasks

• Two main tools: Task manager (I use Todoist), Calendar (Outlook or Google)

• One main approach: Time blocking

Everything I do gets assigned to a time block on my calendar. This ensures that I have dedicated time to complete important tasks, gives clear visibility into how I’m spending my time, and forces me to recognize my constraints.

This is valuable for everyone, but it is especially valuable if you are juggling a lot of balls or if you tend to overestimate how much you can get done.

For small tasks, I batch these into a “Task Time” block and knock them out all at once to avoid fragmenting my day. If any task takes longer than 15 minutes, it usually deserves its own calendar slot.

🔄 Managing Each Type of Action

• Initiatives
  → Managed as projects in Todoist.
  → Broken into sub-tasks.
  → Key actions are scheduled on the calendar.
  → Example: “Write Book” lives as a project; “Write Chapter 3” is a sub-task and is put on the calendar Thursday from 9–11am.

• Habits
  → Stored as recurring tasks in Todoist.
  → Also scheduled as recurring calendar events (Todoist/Calendar integration can help here!)
  → I keep a simple doc with all habits listed and tagged to their corresponding priority.
  → Example: “30 min run” tagged to Health, “Thursday date night” tagged to Marriage.

• Tasks
  → Captured in Todoist.
  → Either batched or, if longer than 15 minutes, scheduled directly.
  → Ideally, keep your task list to under 10 active items.

Important: Tag all Initiatives and Habits in your task manager or calendar by the priority they serve. This forces you to ask, “Does this reflect what I say matters most?”

🤝 Accountability: The Secret Weapon

Even with all this structure, none of us are immune to slippage. That’s where accountability comes in.

For any major initiative or new habit, I try to assign a specific accountability partner. I tell them my goal (clearly and measurably) and agree to a rhythm of check-ins.

This can be as simple as:

“I’m running three times a week. Text me every Sunday and ask how it went.”

Sometimes, if it’s really important or I’m struggling to keep up, I’ll put money on it:

“If I miss two weeks, I owe you $100 - and you donate it to a cause I can’t stand.”

It’s all about creating systems to reinforce the person you want to become with structure that helps you stay on track.

In Summary

To live a life in alignment with your purpose, values, and priorities, follow these simple steps:

1. Classify everything you do into one of three buckets: Initiative, Habit, or Task

2. Tag each Initiative or Habit with the Priority it corresponds to

3. Periodically, look to see where your time is being spent.

   Am I spending more of my time on low-value tasks than high-impact initiatives? Are the actions I’m taking aligned with the priorities I’ve set?

That’s it. There are endless tools, systems, and frameworks that can be used to help get you there. I’ve named a few.

But at the end of the day, it’s pretty simple. Understand the person you want to be and ensure your actions align with it.

Simple, but not easy.

This Is the Journey

Thank you all for joining me on this journey. I hope that it has prompted some ideas within you and perhaps offered a bit of inspiration on how to live your life in an intentional way.

Purpose isn’t found in grand moments. It already exists within each of us, and it is uncovered slowly and deliberately through the thousands of small actions we take.

The life you want isn’t somewhere out there - it’s right here, in what you choose to do today.

Reconnect with your North Star. Live into your values. Honor your priorities. Align your actions.

This is the journey. And it starts right now.

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As sources of fuel, these burn hot, but they don’t burn clean.

They are inefficient, emitting just as much smoke as heat - leaving behind a clear trail and, often, damaging others on the road with them.

These are so often the driving forces for those whose success we idolize - hot shot executives, billionaire investors, professional athletes, world leaders.

So we think this is the way to achieve our goals… until we realize the cost.

Then we have a choice to make. We have to choose our fuel.

Negative emotions are very effective at creating bursts of energy. It’s why heavy lifters often listen to rap or metal, rather than classical music. It’s why Michael Jordan told himself lies about his opponents before a game.

Anger is effective.

Alongside anger sit greed, envy, desire for power, and a whole host of negative emotions that fuel us.

Why are these so often the default?

Because they’re easy. And, for awhile, they work.

Being self-centered, ruthless, and relentless very well may increase your odds of material success. But that path depends on one hope: that someday, you'll finally arrive. And then you can let go of all the pressure and be happy.

The danger here is evident; your wellbeing becomes dependent on reaching a destination that’s often outside your control. And in the process, you gamble something far more precious: your happiness.

At this point, you may be thinking, “Yeah, duh. But I’m not like that!” Maybe so, but most of us still run on traces of these fuels - fear of failure, inferiority complexes, a seemingly unquenchable desire for more.

If this is so clearly NOT the way to live, then why is it so prevalent?

Because fueling yourself with positive emotion is much harder.

By that, I mean it takes practice.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much practice for us to be angry, envious, or greedy. At least not for me.

But what about the opposites?

• To be calm, serene - even when others slight you

• To be indifferent, if not cheerful of others’ success

• To be generous, and stop clinging to your possessions

• To show love, even when others don’t love you

This takes practice. This is hard.

And yet, this is the choice.

The way I see it, there are two main options here:

Option A: The Easy Fuel

You fuel yourself with pressure, fear, and ego. These burn hot, and they can get results fast. But they come at a cost.

You risk deprioritizing the things that you know matter (fitness, sleep, mental health, relationships) in hopes that you’ll achieve success and then finally feel free to focus on those things, to finally be happy.

If you choose Option A, there’s still a chance you get to the end destination. But the path will likely be harder than you expected, and you assume a dire risk in the process.

Many people never make it to the “goal”, or if they do, they arrive exhausted or unrecognizable - making the contentment they desire cruelly unattainable.

Option B: The Clean Fuel

You fuel yourself with things like presence, purpose, compassion. The energy is steadier and sustainable, but less flashy.

You work hard, but you also treat yourself right. You sleep well, eat well, exercise. You do things that make you happy. You spend more time than you think you can with friends and family.

You stop forfeiting today for an imaginary tomorrow.

It all comes down to a gamble: which are you more willing to risk - your material success, or your happiness?

Option A is so tempting because it promises both. It tells us that we can have it all. But I fear, for most, this is a siren song, luring us unknowingly to a dangerous place.

Option B doesn’t promise everything. But it offers something deeper: peace, now - not someday. It invites us to live a life fueled by purpose rather than fear.

We can’t always choose our circumstances.

But we can always choose our fuel.

And if happiness is what we’re after, the choice seems pretty clear.

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The good news is that I’ve learned some useful principles along the way.

There are a few key components that significantly increase one’s odds of achieving a goal. Here’s my simple, step-by-step approach:

1. Start with Why

Once you’ve named your goal, write out a few sentences to explain why this is your goal. The purpose is two-fold:

1. To clarify your own thinking

2. To remind you down the road, when things get tough or other interests compete, the reason you’re doing what you’re doing

2. Break It Down Into Pieces YOU CAN CONTROL

A lot of the time, we set big, high-level goals that aren’t actually within our control - or at least aren’t clear enough to help guide our actions toward achieving the goal.

The best way I know to make progress on a big goal is to break it down to smaller, more manageable pieces that are completely within your control. Ideally, these occur on a daily basis to really form a habit.

Let’s work with the example of someone who wants to lose 30 lbs.

Your initial goal very well may be to lose 30 lbs. But rather than say that and then immediately be confronted with the question of “What do I do now?”, a better example could be “Eat 1,500 calories per day.”

That’s clear, measurable, and within your control.

From there, I might add another layer to achieve the daily calorie goal: “Track every meal in a calorie counting app.” Between the two of those, you know exactly what to do to achieve your goal, and external factors are largely irrelevant.

Simple habit trackers, like this one that I built, can be very helpful in keeping yourself accountable.

3. Get an Accountability Partner

This is probably the most important step, and the least appreciated.

Self-accountability is very difficult. Getting accountability from others is very easy.

If you have a clear goal, it’s easy for someone to check-in weekly, for example, to see if you’ve achieved it and hold you accountable.

This small act makes a BIG difference in your odds of achieving a goal.1

4. Amp up the Incentives

Steps 1-3 may be enough, but if it’s a big goal, or one you’ve really struggled with, you may need some additional motivation to get the job done.

This can vary by person, but I like the simplicity of financial incentives.

For example, if I really care about hitting a goal, I’ll stake a financial incentive on achieving it. In our example, it could be something like, “If I don’t eat 1,500 calories on average per week for the next 4 weeks, I’ll pay you $1,000.”

I know that sounds extreme. It kind of is. But it’s really effective, so it’s a tool to remember if you really want to make some progress fast.

This isn’t something you want to do forever, but it can be effective in getting you off the ground and forming an early habit. Then, hopefully, your momentum can carry you from there.

5. Never Miss Two Days In A Row

Lastly, if your goal involves a daily habit, never miss two days in a row. One is ok - life happens. But never miss two days.

That’s it! If you stick to this approach, I guarantee you will see a meaningful improvement in your goal achievement percentage.

Do you have any approaches that consistently help you achieve goals? Let me know in the comments!

And if you find yourself stuck or in need of an accountability partner, reach out!

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“Are you living the life you chose? Are you living the life that chose you?” - Jason Isbell

A few years ago, I learned a very important lesson: if you don’t set your own priorities, someone else will set them for you.

In the absence of self-driven priorities, we tend to organize our life based on external forces - bosses, work deadlines, social pressures, or the endless demands of others.

This is great for making other people happy, but it is not very good for making ourselves happy.

To be happy, we must be free to live in accordance with our own sense of purpose and values - something that is not likely to come from a system someone else has set for us.

But living intentionally is hard. We know what’s important, but priorities slip. We react to what’s urgent rather than what’s important. We fail to keep ourselves accountable.

The key is to be explicit about our priorities so we can keep ourselves honest when our actions start to diverge.

Done well, clear priorities make life easier because they reduce the mental friction in evaluating daily tradeoffs. They are the bridge between our purpose (North Star), our values (Compass), and how we make decisions in everyday life.

In this essay, we will walk through how to define your priorities, step-by-step.

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1. Identify What Truly Matters

The first step in defining your priorities is identifying the core areas of life that matter most to you.

Common categories might include:

• Health & Well-Being

• Family & Relationships

• Career & Financial Stability

• Personal Growth & Learning

• Spirituality

• Community & Service

This is not about creating a to-do list - it’s about defining what truly deserves your attention.

Ask yourself a simple question: “What are the pillars of a meaningful life for me?”

Write down at least 3-5 broad categories that come to mind.

2. Force-Rank Your Priorities

Once you’ve identified broad categories, you need to rank them in order of importance. This is where many people hesitate - because everything feels important.

A simple three-question test can help:

1. If I could only make progress in ONE of these areas this year, which would I choose?

   • Forces clarity on what’s most important right now.

2. Which area, if neglected, would cause the greatest regret in 10 years?

   • Helps separate real priorities from temporary distractions.

3. Which area most enables the others?

   • Some priorities act as foundational blocks for everything else (e.g., good health supports career, family, and personal growth).

Taking your list from Step 1, force-rank your priorities. It can be helpful to systematically compare one against another to arrive at your rankings.

After going through this, you’ll arrive at a force-ranked list based on your current season of life.

Example: A Working Parent’s Priorities
Let’s say someone goes through this process and ends up with:

1. Family - If they don’t invest here, they’ll regret it most.

2. Health - Enables them to show up for family and work.

3. Career - Important, but not at the expense of family/health.

4. Personal Growth - Still valuable, but secondary.

5. Community & Service - Matters, but is a lower priority for this season.

This ranking doesn’t mean that lower-priority areas are unimportant - just that they don’t receive as much focus right now.

Priorities shift. A young professional might put career first, while a new parent shifts toward family. The key is to adjust intentionally rather than letting priorities drift unconsciously.

Personal Note: In everyday life, I prioritize my own mental & physical health above all else. This may sound selfish, but it’s based on my belief in the oxygen mask principle: to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself first.

Without good mental & physical health, being there for my family, friends, and colleagues isn’t possible.

3. Evaluate Actual vs. Ideal Priorities

By now, you’ve thought of the areas that matter to you in life, and you’ve ranked them by priority.

This ranking typically reflects what we want our priorities to be, not necessarily what they truly are.

Understanding any gaps that exist between actual vs. ideal priorities is critical to creating alignment with the life you want to live.

Now, let’s take the same group of priorities and rank them once more based on your honest evaluation of how you actually prioritize your time right now.

A useful exercise to help with this can be the “Calendar and Checkbook Test.”

1. When I look at my calendar over the past 2-4 weeks, where is most of my time and energy going?

2. When I look at my expenditures, where is most of my money going?

Spot the differences. The end result might look something like the below. This is an actual journal entry of what my priorities looked like a few years ago.

Sometimes it’s hard to be honest about the reality of how you’re living, but this honesty and self-awareness is critical to living a life you are happy with.

In the example above, this forced me to realize that I was not prioritizing my own health, for the sake of work & family, and it was starting to affect me negatively.

4. Recognize That Seasons Change

While this was touched on above, it bears repeating. Priorities are not etched in stone; they change and flow as you move through seasons of life.

The key, again, is to recognize your season of life and adjust priorities intentionally rather than letting someone or something else set them for you.

Examples of how priorities might change:

• Early career: Work and learning are often the focal point

• Parenting: Family starts to take precedence over solely focused career growth

• Later life: Health and service to others may move higher

It’s also worth noting that sometimes life changes priorities for you. If you’ve neglected your health for too long, a heart attack might force you to change your ways. If you’ve prioritized work over family, the risk of divorce might do the same.

The objective is to think about these things proactively so we can avoid the adjustments that life makes for us, which are not always kind.

5. Maintain Your Priorities

Once you’ve gone through the process of identifying, ranking, and honestly evaluating your priorities, the last step is to maintain them.

We will dive into this heavily in the next section on Aligning Your Daily Actions, but here are a few quick exercises that can be helpful to keep you on track:

• Time Block Priorities: Before the chaos of a given week begins, proactively block off time for your top priorities. For example, I make sure to time block specific periods for exercise during the work week. Otherwise, history has shown that it just will not happen.

• Time Audit: periodically, do the Calendar Test. Track where your time actually goes and compare that to your written priorities. This is the easiest way to spot where changes my be needed.

• Check-in on Ideal Priorities: While the time audit serves to evaluate your actual priorities, it’s important to check-in from time to time on what your ideal priorities should be. Life changes - perhaps you’ve gotten to a good place at work and now you need to focus more on family or health.

In conclusion, when you actively set and protect your priorities, your path in life becomes clearer and decisions become easier.

Priorities are the bridge between our purpose, values, and the decisions we make in everyday life.

They may constantly evolve, but the key is to keep making the choice in how you live.

In the next essay, we will walk through how to practically apply all of this in a deep dive on time & task management. In aligning our daily actions with our purpose, values, and priorities, we unlock the true key to a meaningful life.

Next Section: Aligning Your Daily Actions (The Journey)

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The problem is that most of the core values we're exposed to are not very good, so we underestimate the impact they can have.

To me, good core values meet three main criteria:

1. They are never one word. They are phrases or short-sentences, often action-oriented.

2. They are never generic. They’re unique to me and immediately trigger a reminder of how I want to live day-to-day.

3. They are useful. (Because of numbers 1 and 2)

As an example, my primary core value is “Focus on what you can control.” I could’ve just said “Focus”, but when I’m in crisis mode or dealing with tough decisions, that doesn’t help me much.

What does help me is to remember to focus on what I can control. This one simple phrase drives 99% of my mental strength.1

That’s a big statement. Such is the power of good core values.

I realize this may be a different portrayal of core values than you’re used to. It is different because I only care about one thing here: making them useful.

So, how do we determine our core values?

1. Start Simple - Brainstorm One-Word Prompts

Sometimes it’s easier to warm up by starting with simple words before diving deeper. In this step, we’re not aiming for perfect answers - just quick, gut-level reactions to get the ideas flowing.

Think about what qualities matter most to you - words that describe how you want to live or what you want to stand for.

Write down 10 words that feel important. Don’t overthink it - just jot down what comes to mind.

If you need some ideas, you can check out James Clear’s list of core values to see some examples. Resist this at first, though - just write.

2. Reflect - When Have You Felt Most True to Yourself?

Now that you’ve brainstormed some ideas, let’s clarify what they mean to you by grounding them in real experiences.

Look at your list from Step 1. Which words feel connected to moments when you’ve been at your best - or moments when something felt off?

Reflection Questions

• Proud Moment: When was a time you felt calm, confident, and proud of how you handled a tough situation? What values showed up in that moment?

• Regretful Moment: When was a time you felt uneasy about your actions? What value might have been missing or compromised?

Write down the patterns, themes, or connections you notice between these moments and your brainstormed words.

The goal here is to refine or expand your initial list so you’re ready to prioritize in the next step.

Tip: If you’re struggling with this, evaluate how you’ve made big decisions in your life (career moves, relationships, etc.) and write down the principles guiding those choices.

3. Narrow Your List & Prioritize

The purpose of understanding your core values is to help you in make decisions in everyday life. The goal is simplicity - values you can remember and use.

So let’s simplify:

1. Based on Steps 1 & 2, write down the seven core values that resonate the most. Example: balance, courage, humility, discipline, love, authenticity, growth

2. Rank by importance. Compare them in pairs - if you had to pick one over the other, which one wins? Keep doing this until you have a prioritized list.

3. Pick 3-5 values that truly capture who you are and how you want to live. Ask yourself, “If I lived by these values, would I be proud of my choices?”

This step can feel tedious, but it is critical and enlightening. I was surprised at my own rankings when I went through it. Don’t skip this.

Below is a simple graphic you can use to easily compare values.

4. Make Them Useful - Memorable, Actionable Phrases

The next step is to translate your values into phrases that are clear and actionable.

Rather than vague, one-word values like “Integrity” or “Courage”, our aim is to create short, memorable statements that help guide daily decisions.

Examples:

• Instead of “Focus”, I use “Focus on what you can control”

• Instead of “Courage”, I use “Do not dwell in fear”

• Instead of “Love”, I use “Love by being present”

• Instead of “Action”, I use “Be quick, but don’t hurry”2

These phrases don’t perfectly translate to one word values, but that’s precisely the point! Real values are much more nuanced than one word can easily convey.

For example, “Be quick, but don’t hurry” encapsulates my values of action and urgency, while also balancing temperance and mindfulness.

Now, your turn:

Take each of your 3-5 values and ask: What does this really mean to me?

Then, turn each into a memorable, actionable phrase.

Test your phrases:

• Would this help me make a tough decision in real time?

• Does it remind me how I want to act - not just what I value?

Tip: My wife Callie has another way of thinking about this, which I find inspiring. Frame the question as, “I want to be the kind of person who. . .” and see what comes up.

For example, she said: “I want to be the kind of person someone feels comfortable sitting next to at church for the first time.” To me, that beautifully captures values like kindness, empathy, and inclusivity.

5. Reality Check - Actual vs. Aspirational Values

The core values you now have give you clear tools for daily decisions. The final step is to evaluate how well these align with your current life and identify areas for growth.

Separate your values into two categories: Actual vs. Aspirational

• Actual Values - qualities you consistently embody

• Aspirational Values - qualities you admire and want to grow into

It’s impossible to live into your values 100% of the time, but we know when a value is more aspirational than actual.

For me personally, the value around “focusing on what I can control” is rock solid - but the value around active love and being present is a work-in-progress.

That’s ok! We are all a work-in-progress, and aspirational values serve as good guideposts for growth (which we will tackle in Part 4 on initiatives). The important part is that you are aware of both who you are and who you want to be.

Wrapping Up: Tie It Back to Your North Star

Your North Star is the direction you’re headed and your Core Values are the compass that keeps you on track.

Even when times are tough or decisions are unclear, your values point the way forward.

I focus on what I can control, I don’t dwell on fear, I love others by being present, and I am quick but not hurried.

A final word of advice: don’t force these. Take your time. Good core values are very personal. Don’t rush it - keep thinking on it, pay attention to yourself, and see what becomes useful over time.

In the next section, we’ll identify the areas of your life that deserve the most focus. By aligning your values with your priorities - the key checkpoints on your journey - you’ll ensure that your time and energy are spent on what truly matters, bringing you closer to your North Star.

Next Section: Setting Your Priorities (The Bridge)

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“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” - Pablo Picasso

I believe our purpose in life is to find the highest and best use of our unique talents. We do this by finding the overlap between the things that we are uncommonly talented at, the things that give us energy, and the things that society needs. This combination is unique for everyone.

You could be a street sweeper or a world leader. The key is that you're giving back to the world in the best way that you can. This is the path to meaning and fulfillment, and it is possible for everyone.

As Greg Kimura says in his beautiful poem Cargo, “You enter life a ship laden with meaning, purpose and gifts sent to be delivered to a hungry world. And as much as the world needs your cargo, you need to give it away."1

Let’s begin.

1. Identify What Gives You Energy

Asking someone what their passions are can be a very intimidating question. However, when you ask someone what energizes them, or what drains them, they tend to know immediately.

Think about the activities, projects, or work that truly energize you. What leaves you feeling more fulfilled rather than drained?

Write down at least three activities that bring you energy. It could be work-related, hobbies, or time spent with people.

For example, a few things that bring me energy are:

1. Learning from a wide variety of sources to find the overlapping principles on how to live a good life

2. Having deep 1:1 conversations with people

3. Sharing my insights with others

If this is challenging to you, imagine a day where you have no obligations and complete freedom. What are some things you would naturally choose to do that make you feel alive or fulfilled?

2. Find What You’re Uncommonly Good At

Reflect on the skills or abilities that set you apart. These may be things that others have complimented you on, or areas where you seem to achieve success with relative ease.

Some people might say, “I’m not uncommonly good at anything.” Not so! The bar here is not Einstein-level. It’s precisely what it says: what are you better at than the common person? That’s it.

Write down the skills or strengths that come to mind. Ask trusted friends or colleagues if you’re not sure—they often see strengths we overlook.

Tip: Consider identifying your Three Uniques2—the three biggest differentiators that set you apart. The combination of these three is what makes your contribution special. Others may share one or two of these attributes, but the overlap of all three is often very unique to you.

3. Look for Overlap

Your North Star is often found at the intersection of what energizes you and what you’re uncommonly good at.

You might consider what society needs as well, but I tend to find that society values energy and expertise brought to any area.

Example:

• I love finding key principles for living a happy, high-impact life, and I love sharing them to help people.

• I’m uncommonly good at learning across disciplines, building relationships, and some hard skills like finance and business management.

• My Three Uniques are my deep interest in philosophy & theology, my expertise in running businesses, and my experience in using software to solve problems.

• Additionally, I believe society needs business leaders who are thoughtful, compassionate, and servant-minded.

So, some possibilities of what could make sense for me are things like running a business, managing people, being an executive coach, or perhaps creating a software platform to help with aspects of those (which, it just so happens, I do!)

Ask yourself: Based on what gives you energy and what you’re uncommonly good at (your Three Uniques), what are some possible paths that could make sense for you? Write this down.

If you aren’t immediately struck with a big revelation, don’t feel discouraged. Just write down some ideas without clinging too tightly to them. This is a process of self-discovery.

4. Let Go of What Drains You

Finding your North Star also means recognizing what doesn’t align. Think about what drains your energy—whether it’s certain jobs, relationships, or activities you’ve held onto because of expectations or fear.

Write down at least one thing you feel ready to let go of to create space for what truly matters.

Letting go of what drains you creates the space and energy to focus on your North Star and the actions that align with your guiding direction.

5. Optional: Create a Mission Statement

Once you’ve identified your North Star, it can be helpful to define a mission—a practical step that describes what you are doing right now to move toward your North Star. It can be very clarifying to have these statements written out for reference.

North Star: A concise statement of the guiding direction for your life—the “why” behind everything you do.

• Example: To use my unique experience and insights to help others lead happier, healthier, and higher-impact lives.

Mission: A clear, actionable statement of what you are currently doing to move toward your North Star—the “how” and “what.”

• Example: To build a company that allows me to positively impact people at scale by leveraging & deepening my understanding of management, communication, and leadership.

Based on your North Star, ask yourself: What actions are you currently taking to move in that direction? Consider crafting a simple mission statement that captures this.

As you go through this process, remember: you don’t need a perfect answer right away. The reality is that no such thing exists. Your North Star and mission will evolve over time, so choose a direction that feels right and take action. You can always adjust as you go - it’s your life. Pick a direction, start marching, and be open to change.

In the next section, we will define our Core Values, the Compass we use to keep moving toward our North Star.

Next Section: Defining Your Core Values (Compass)

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What does it mean to live a meaningful life?

“Finding meaning” can feel abstract and intimidating, yet it’s the most natural human pursuit.

I’ve wrestled with this challenge deeply, and in the process I’ve come to believe that finding meaning and fulfillment can be approached in a systematic way.

While there is no single solution, there are helpful frameworks. In this series, I am sharing what has worked for me, in hopes that it may eliminate some of the mystery and anxiety around “finding meaning” for you.

This guide offers a step-by-step approach to discovering your path and working toward a life of intention and fulfillment. In this process, each component builds upon the previous one, creating a solid foundation for living with purpose.

Think of it as a map for navigating through life with a compass in hand, heading toward a destination that aligns with your values and goals.

Whether you’re at a crossroads or simply looking to refine your direction, this guide will help you take meaningful steps forward.

Table of Contents

1. Finding Your Purpose (The North Star)

   • Discover your guiding direction—the overarching pursuit that gives your life purpose and meaning. This is a continuous journey, not a single destination.

2. Defining Your Core Values (The Compass)

   • Establish the principles that guide how you make decisions and navigate challenges throughout your journey.

3. Setting Your Priorities (The Bridge)

   • Identify the areas of your life that deserve the most focus, such as health, relationships, or career, based on your North Star and Compass.

4. Aligning Your Daily Actions (The Journey)

   • Based on your purpose & priorities, align your everyday actions through initiatives, habits, and tasks to stay on course and make consistent progress.

This guide will be a series of essays, one for each part - diving deep into practical steps for finding these answers yourself.

Let’s begin by finding your North Star - the guiding light that will set the course for everything else you do.

Next Section: Finding Your Purpose (The North Star)

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